Maybe I should just hit myself in the head with a hammer….

Here’s the perspective course load I’ll be taking if I decide to go through with my psycho plan of obtaining a masters degree in physics. Keep in mind that each class meets three to four times a week, so I can really only take one class a semester IF production will let me.

More of my dream crushing realization after the fold. I’m sorry for the long post, but I think the course descriptions are pretty fucking cool…

Math 20: Intermediate Algebra - Topics include fundamental operations, equations and inequalities in one variable, rational numbers and functions, irrational numbers, complex numbers, quadratic equations and functions, exponential and logarithmic functions, linear and non-linear systems, matrices and graphing.

Math 32: Plane Geometry - This course is equivalent to one year of high school plane geometry. Topics include sets, postulates, theorems, proofs, constructions, congruent triangles, parallels, similar polygons, regular polygons, right triangles, circles, loci and area. Emphasis will be made on thinking, memorizing, and analyzing abstract mathematical concepts.

Math 2: Precalculus - An intensive preparation for calculus. This course is intended for computer science, engineering, mathematics and natural science majors. Topics include algebraic, exponential, logarithmic and trigonometric functions and their inverses and identities, conic sections, sequences, series, the binomial theorem, and mathematical induction.

Math 7: Calculus 1 - This course is intended for computer science, engineering, mathematics and natural science majors. Topics in this first course in calculus include limits, continuity, and derivatives and integrals of algebraic and trigonometric functions, with mathematical and physical applications.

Math 8: Calculus 2 - A second course in calculus. Topics include derivatives and integrals of transcendental functions with mathematical and physical applications, indeterminate forms and improper integrals, infinite sequences and series, and curves, including conic sections, defined by parametric equations and polar coordinates.

Math 10: Discrete Structures - This course is intended for computer science, engineering and mathematics majors. Topics include sets and relations, permutations and combinations, graphs and trees, induction and Boolean algebras.

Math 11: Multi variable Calculus - Topics include vectors and analytic geometry in two and three dimensions, vector functions with applications, partial derivatives, extrema, Lagrange multipliers, multiple integrals with applications, vector fields, Green’s Theorem, Divergence Theorem, and Stokes’ Theorem.

Math 15: Differential Equations - This course is an introduction to Ordinary Differential Equations. Topics includefirst order equations, linear equations, reduction of order, variation of parameters, spring motion and other applications, Cauchy-Euler equations, power series solutions, Laplace transform, and systems of linear differential equations.

Math 13: Linear Algebra - Topics include matrices and linear transformations, abstract vector spaces and subspaces, linear independence and bases, determinants, systems of linear equations, and eigenvalues and eigenvectors.

Physics 6: General Physics - This course is an algebra-based study of the mechanics of solids and liquids, elastic properties of matter, heat, and sound.

Physics 7: General Physics - This course is an algebra-based study of electricity and magnetism, optics, special relativity, atomic and nuclear physics.

Physics 8: General Physics with Calculus - This course is a calculus-based study of the mechanics of solids and liquids, elastic properties of matter, heat, and wave motion.

Physics 9: General Physics with Calculus - This course is a calculus-based study of electricity and magnetism, geometrical and physical optics, special relativity, and atomic and nuclear physics.

Physics 21: Mechanics - This course is a calculus-based study of the mechanics of solids and liquids, and the elastic properties of matter.

Physics 22: Wave Motion, Heat, Light, and Modern Physics - This course is a calculus-based study of the wave motion, heat, light, and modern physics.

Physics 23: Electricity and Magnetism - This course is a calculus-based study of the electricity and magnetism including the electric and magnetic properties of materials, direct and alternating current circuits, electromagnetic interactions and wave theory. In addition, this course covers special relativity.

Physics 24: Modern Physics with Lab - This course is a calculus-based introduction to modern physics for science majors. Topics will be selected from the areas of relativity, quantum physics, and their applications.

It will take me through the Winter of 2011 to finish just the classes at SMC, before I can consider moving over to UCLA or USC (if they will even accept a bachelor of science degree from art school). If I could take all the classes online, I’d have no problem. It’s the 7 or 8am to 9:30am class time three or four days a week while still working full time in this industry. I haven’t done the math yet on how long that will take at USC or UCLA, but I’m betting another three to four years at least (I’ll be 32-33 when I’m done with this).

Sigh… here’s the bombshell from UCLA…

The graduate program in physics and astronomy leads to the PhD degree. Although you may obtain the MS degree en route to the PhD, the department does not admit candidates for the MS degree only.

Why would they admit an art student into a PhD program who has no real aspirations of becoming an astronomer or physicist?

USC looks more promising, however it’s a much farther drive to make and classes are typically 1 hour lecture series three days a week plus an additional hour of discussion time. Here I can get a Masters of Science, Physics by completing a thesis and direct research (that made me need a change of pants) and seven additional courses passing with a B- or better, five of them needing to be at the 500 level. So here’s what I would take, assuming that all my SMC classes transfered over…

Physics 472: Introduction to Lasers and Laser Systems

Physics 473L: Lasers and Optics Lab

Physics 502: Advanced Optics - Interaction of light and matter; laser oscillation condition; optical resonators; spectroscopy; pumping mechanisms; characteristics of dielectric, semiconductor, gas, and liquid lasers; topics in nonlinear optics.

Physics 504: Advanced Mechanics (required) - Newtonian formulation of dynamics; Hamilton’s principle; Lagrangian formulation; rigid body motion; Hamiltonian formulation; Hamilton-Jacobi theory; vibrations.

Physics 508a: Advanced Electricity and Magnetism (required) - a: Electrostatics, boundary value problems, multipole expansions, microscopic models of matter, magnetostatics. b: Maxwell’s equations, potentials and gauge transformations; electromagnetic waves; wave guides; electromagnetic radiation; special relativity.

Physics 516: Methods of Computational Physics - Introduction to algorithm development. Integration of ordinary differential equations; chaotic systems; molecular dynamics; Monte Carlo integration and simulations; cellular automata and other complex systems. Recommended preparation: ability to program in C or C++.

Physics 558a: Quantum Mechanics (required) - a: General formulation of quantum mechanics with applications; theory of measurement; exactly solvable problems; angular momentum formalism. b: Approximation schemes and applications to atomic and molecular physics and scattering theory; identical particles; electromagnetic properties of atoms.

What nut job decided this would be a good idea?… Oh yeah, me…

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